Teach Discipline to Child
What has changed? Luckily, my wife showed me various discipline methods that were very positive. Also, I am open to learning.
What hasn't changed is that children are full of impulsive and emotional problems, ranging from sadness to happiness to a moment of anger. Although as adults, we are no different when it comes to stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, and stimulants like sugar and caffeine in our diet.
- Punishment is discipline?
- 3 Positive Discipline Strategies for Children
- What if the ground rules are violated?
- Alternative to Punishment
- Bottom Line
Punishment is discipline?
This means that when children misbehave, we usually take the easy way out and punish them. Punishment may solve an isolated problem, but it doesn't really teach a child anything useful in the long run.
It may be time for me to clarify what I mean by punishment and discipline, as these terms are often used interchangeably, but they are quite different.
Discipline and Punishment
Punishment means that we inflict pain or suffering on the child as punishment. Discipline means teaching. They are the exact opposite, but you will find that teachers, parents and coaches often confuse the terms.
Therefore, as parents, we need to have clear goals in educating our children. This is a long-term plan - using the strategy that will have the most lasting impact on our children is the best use of our time and energy.
Read more - Improving Your Child's Focus and Concentration - 8 Tips Parenting
It's easier to find the best strategy when you're clear about what you want to achieve. The more we can respond when our children misbehave or don't follow our instructions, the better the results.
3 Positive Discipline Strategies for Children
Stay with me because I guess a lot of people who read these blogs don't always have impulse control kids.There are a lot of kids in our martial arts classes that do the exact opposite. They have attention problems, are hyperactive and disturb other children.
Simple solutions are to punish their parents by removing the child from the class, or punishing the child with punishments such as timeouts and burpees. Yes, it's tempting to do it all, but one of the values of our club is that we pull you up, not push you down.
Thus, building trust leads to long-term gains, while ongoing punishment destroys that trust.
Below are the discipline strategies we use to build trust and confidence in these hyperactive children.
The first positive discipline strategy is to be patient. The more patient you are, the more likely you are to get results. Remember, I said we need to build trust and connection. With patience, you will go further towards this goal.
As a coach, I'm sometimes not the best person for the role, but there are other coaches at our club who can step in. As a parent, you may not have that luxury, so it's important to acknowledge and celebrate any progress you see.
The second strategy we use is redirection. When redirecting, it's important to exclude the "no" from the equation. Choice is a good choice.
Imagine a scenario where you are in a restaurant and your child is complaining. The trickiest part here is getting your child to stop crying long enough for you to bond. Most parents have calming strategies that may be more effective if you practice them with your child.
In the first moments of calm, you can say, "You decided it's not good to yell in public. Better say Dad. What should I do to get ice cream?" You can replace it with the appropriate option.
The challenge of stilling and readjusting is that we need to be clear-headed, focused, and truly engaged in the present moment. When you're on the phone, talking to friends or family, thinking about work or bills, you're missing out on this long-term opportunity for self-discipline.
3. Maintenance and ground rules
A third positive discipline strategy is to revise and apply ground rules. Once you specify better options and are satisfied, you have a chance to fix this behavior to reduce it from happening, or even better prevent it from happening again. By developing the proper ground rules, you can help your child improve their behavior, which can translate into long-term victories.
It's these ground rules that will help you correct your child's bad choices and guide the behavior you want to see.
Consequences and ultimatums
When I was a kid and punished. My parents work long hours in a busy business, so giving ultimatums is their default attitude."Do it again and you'll be grounded for a week" or "If I catch you at X, you'll go to bed without dinner".
In retrospect, this worked to an extent. But the downside is that I remember happier times than ultimatums. I've learned through trial and error with my own kids that consequences are more effective without breaking trust.
What if the ground rules are violated?
It's about the consequences you face when the ground rules are broken.
In martial arts classes, hyperactive students break ground rules. You will miss a game or be at the end of the queue. We don't want to humiliate children by isolating them. But on the other hand, there should be clear ground rules and proportionate consequences.
Yes, sometimes we want to exclude students from classes, clubs and even the universe. Again, patience is so important, and possibly impulse control.With achievable results, you maintain trust and are more likely to achieve the long-term behavior you want to achieve.
Interestingly, we occasionally hear a tactic from parents that little Kevin is misbehaving at home with his sister. He likes martial arts training, so his parents would take Kevin out of martial arts classes as punishment.
We suggest that this removes Kevin from an environment where he behaves positively. Removing him from it may not be good for the changes you want to see. He might even feel embarrassed when he goes back to class and loses all the progress he's made.
Alternative to Punishment
Another option is to tell Kevin to write a letter to his sister apologizing for his behavior and explaining how he will behave in the future.
If your child is too young to write, apologize in person.To make an apology feel real, it makes sense to pre-express or practice this between you and your child before giving it to the target.
Don't expect them to know the ground rules or your thoughts! Your child will know it better and will accept it better with practice. You can practice along the lines of "X is what I did, Y is what I should do, and Z is my commitment to how I will behave in your future." Replace the corresponding action.
It doesn't have to be a letter or in person, it can even be a video. But there must be an intention to repair the broken principle. If you try these strategies, you're all in, but you're still getting nowhere.
But what if these strategies don't work? Then, you can gain a lot by seeking the help of an expert. It is possible that something is interfering or limiting their development.
This does not mean your child has a neurological deficit, although it may be the underlying cause. But it means you can get an objective perspective and help guide how to make the changes you want to see. Remember, it's better to use positive discipline strategies than just punish.
You can chat with some groups for help. Family Life UK aims to ensure all parents have a place to go before they reach a crisis point. The NSPCC also has a helpful positive parenting guide that you can download. 
So, here are three tips you can use to positively discipline your child. The first one is about you! Be patient, be present, and think about what's best in the long run. AKA Avoid ultimatums and penalties. The second is to use redirect, then fix and repeat (ground rules) as your three-step method of discipline.
Using these positive parenting strategies requires you to fully interact with your child. Again, impulses can destroy confidence and you'll lose some of the gains you've both worked so hard to gain.
After all, consequences are better than punishments. Also, avoid shame at all costs, especially in public.
I hope this blog has been helpful to you and remember that you should focus more on correcting bad behavior because being proactive and encouraging good behavior through rewards, fun, and positive emotions requires less effort than correcting bad behavior.