Parenting Skills
5 Parenting Skills That You Must Improve | Good Parenting Skills (Psychology-Backed) - We need to understand the ins and outs of parenting kids. We don’t naturally know how to raise our children, and there’s no manual telling us exactly what we should do. But there are many resources available to help with our child rearing. These can be found in psychology and parenting research.
These tips come from research and can help you become a better parent right now. To be a great parent, one must understand first how things work. It's difficult to be a good parent without knowing why the first thing is important. So here are the Positive Parenting Skills and advice for new moms or new parent
1.Practicing Unconditional Love is Essential.
We all naturally appear to love our children unconditionally. However, we may unintentionally communicate words or behaviors that damage our child's belief in unconditional love.
For example, asking a child if they want another mom during a tantrum is not unconditional love. The message to the kids is that if they misbehave or misbehave, they risk losing you as a mother because you ask, "Do you want another mother" or "Do you want to live somewhere else? ?”.
If you've ever said these things, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. However, if we want our children to feel unconditional love, then we must stop saying things that make children feel like the relationship might break because of their actions. We have to know basic parenting skills.
Another way to look at these threats is to compare them to threats of divorce. If you've ever been married or lived in a household with married parents, you know that when a person threatens divorce, it hits the nail on the head.
An impending divorce can damage the relationship because trust is lost.The partner begins to feel that their relationship may not last forever and may end the relationship as their spouse threatens a divorce. Even if the person threatening doesn't mean it and they really love their spouse, the words can still hurt.
The same principle applies to parent-child relationships. Children do not feel loved unconditionally when they face the threat of losing their current family life, abandoning their parents, or being placed in foster care. They will believe that their parents' love depends on their behavior. This is conditional love, which means they are only loved under certain conditions.
My son Charlie has recently developed a habit of saying "I love you mommy" whenever he's in trouble. He kicked the dog the other day. Not hard, but he still kicked our dog. I am very angry.I yelled at him and he was sent to his room for a long time (I know yelling is bad). I couldn't think of the consequences on the spur of the moment, so I said, "Go back to your room, I don't want to see you now, and I will think about your consequences later."
Read more - How To Teach Kids To Have Respect And Discipline
He ran up the stairs crying and said, "I love your mother, I love your mother, I love your mother." Why did he say that? Because in his six year horizon, he was worried that if he misbehaved, I would stop loving him.
Children don't know that we love them unconditionally. However, they are learning and we have to tell them we are doing it. My response in this situation is always to say, "I love you too." Then I usually follow up with, "I don't like your behavior right now, but I will always love you."
Children need to be taught that they are loved regardless of their behavior. They must be loved deeply, even when they act, break the rules, or misbehave.
An article in Elite Daily reviewed several studies on unconditional love. [1] The results of these studies suggest that when children experience unconditional love during childhood, they become more well-adjusted, emotionally and physically healthy. When children are exposed to conditional love in parent-child relationships, research shows that children experience higher levels of anxiety, which in turn can negatively impact their long-term health, such as: B. Heart health.
To love unconditionally means to love unconditionally. Unconditional love means loving someone for who they are, flaws and all. Tell your kids you love them even when they break the rules, misbehave, or tell you they hate you (most kids say this to their parents sometimes).
You must always answer, "I love you regardless of your behavior." This does not mean that you accept or condone bad behavior.There should always be appropriate consequences for behavior. However, they should never feel that parental love can be canceled for misbehaving.
2. Create Bonds That Last a Lifetime by Creating Memories
You need to spend time with your child to bond. Quality time is important, but so is quantity time.
Children want to be with their parents. Spending time as a family. For example, make it a goal to have dinner in the kitchen or at the dinner table at least a few nights a week. Make a rule that no technology is allowed at the dinner table during this time so you can chat and spend time together.
Before you know it, this child will grow up and leave your home. Spend time together eating, talking and really getting to know your child before your child leaves the house as an adult.
Barking Up the Wrong Tree is dedicated to research on how to create happy memories that last a lifetime.Some of the things the research found were: [2]
- Memories are created when our senses and emotions are heightened.
- It's probably the premium experience you want to remember when we pull out our camera phones.
- Celebrating milestones and commendable moments (completions, wins of the season, etc.) helps create positive and lasting memories.
- Fighting together creates unity. When you resolve conflict in a relationship and improve it in the process, you create a connection. Fraternities confuse, soldiers fight together, and families overcome battles together. All of these create lasting bonds. When your family fights together, when you overcome challenges together, celebrate success at the end of the day.
Do whatever helps create memories, bonds, and experiences that will last a lifetime. They will carry these memories with them into old age with joy.
3. Stop Screaming
Yelling at our children is not good parenting. However, it still occurs frequently in most families. I admit I'm still working on it. I think this sentence sums up the situation.
However, I do know that I have to constantly try to avoid yelling or raising my voice because I would prefer a family with zero voice.
Screaming makes our kids anxious. It also affects their mood and spirit in a negative way. If you've ever been yelled at by a boss or supervisor, you probably remember that it wasn't a pleasant memory. It makes you feel bad. Being reprimanded in a calm voice is hard enough.
When someone, whether an adult or a child, is yelled at while being reprimanded, it can lead to a surge of anxiety, stress, and negative emotions.
Yelling can become emotional abuse if it includes name-calling or insults.
Heathline Parenthood examined research on yelling and found that children of parents who yell at their children are more verbally and physically aggressive. [3] Children learn from their parents' example. If screaming is a regular occurrence in your home, your child will learn that screaming is appropriate when dealing with behavior or situations he doesn't like. None of us want to teach our kids this, so we have to do something to stop the yelling.
Healthline shares some tips on how to stop crying:
- Know what triggers the scream. What was the behavior or situation where you yelled at your child?
- If you feel like screaming, take a break or count to ten.
- Practice responding with a calm, even tone. Practice makes action a habit.
- If you yell, admit the mistake and apologize to your child. Then they will know that this is unacceptable behavior and that if they make a mistake and end up yelling, they should also apologize. (Yes, I apologize to Charlie for yelling at him, and he had to apologize to our dog Max.)
My article on How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids was also helpful: The Only Effective Way to Talk to Your Kids When They're Behaving Badly. This article outlines the steps to take to apply the One Question method to parenting. This approach is used to help parents track consequences more quickly before the situation escalates into worse child behavior and parental yelling.
Here are some tips from this article on how to talk to your child without yelling.
- Stand at eye level and speak face to face in a calm voice.
- Don't repeatedly threaten them with consequences and wait for the situation to heat up.Immediate consequences (i.e. loss of game time or time-out) for violating a warning. Don't wait for them to repeat bad behavior multiple times. Just one warning. If they subsequently break the rules or disobey, the consequences should be enforced immediately.
- If you find that your yelling is so ingrained in your daily behavior that it's hard to break the habit and you need more support, buy the book Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake or at Find it at your local library. Her advice was even featured on the national radio show "Focus on the Family" and was voted the #1 show of 2019. Her gentle parenting sklills assessment are working.
4. Provide a Toy Experience
Toys are fun. But our kids don't need overly complicated, electronic, and expensive toys to be happy or thrive. Focusing on experiences rather than toys is one way to improve as a parent right now.
For their next holiday or birthday, consider giving your child an experience, such as an annual membership to a children's museum or zoo. Another experience is traveling to interesting places like national parks. These experiences help create memories. They also help give your kids more variety as they travel the world and experience activities instead of sitting in their room playing the latest video game.
Motherly recently published an article exploring the science that our children experience better than toys. Here's a noteworthy quote from that article. [4]
If we needed one more reason to chill gift giving, researchers have found that gratitude and generosity increase when experiences, rather than objects, are given. Thomas Gilovich, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, has conducted extensive research over decades and found that happiness comes from experiences, not things. Conclusion: The joy of childhood experience is far more important than the fleeting excitement of toys under the Christmas tree. Providing experiences that involve spending time together rather than gifting toys leads to greater and longer-lasting joy. Don't stress about the number of toy moms. Focus on creating memories.
5. Let Them Play And Act Like Children
Play and child development go hand in hand. Over the past few decades, however, our children's playtime has dwindled.
We are so focused on our children's learning that we deprive them of playtime. To play is to learn. We need to get our kids back to basic playtime so they can develop and learn naturally.
Increase their playtime and limit electronics. Research from Very Well Family has found that too much technology is bad for our children. [5]When children spend too much time on electronic devices, their research has found that children develop sleep problems, obesity, behavioral problems, academic problems and emotional problems. Limit the amount of time your child spends using technology.
According to We Can, our goal is for school-aged children to look at screens less than twice a day. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends much less time for children under five. We Can offers a free screen schedule so you can keep track of how much time your kids spend on digital devices.
The purpose is to distract children from technology while playing. Play helps them develop. In my book Let Them Play, I explain the importance of play and provide 100 developmental play activities for kids. Some of the great play activities listed in the book that encourage development and learning include playdough, magnetic blocks, Lego bricks, puppetry, and hopscotch.
Parents can teach their children various play activities while actively playing with them. Fifteen or twenty minutes of playtime helps create bonding between parent and child. Parents can then let their children continue the activity on their own. This playtime is critical to a child's social, emotional, physical and cognitive development.
You are only small once. Let them be children from an early age. Two-year-olds shouldn't be sitting at a desk for hours on end doing homework. They were created for play, exploration and exercise. This is the best way for them to learn and develop.
Final Thoughts
These aren't the only ways to improve as a parent. But here are five ways you can improve as a parent, starting today.
No one is a perfect parent, which means we all have room for improvement. Take an objective look at your parenting skills program and decide where you can improve. Then do something about it.
Reference
[1] ^ Elite Daily: The Psychology Behind Unconditional Love, According To Science
[2] ^ Barking Up the Wrong Tree: This Is How To Create Happy Memories That Will Last A Lifetime: 3 Secrets From Research
[3] ^ Healthline: The Long-Lasting Effects of Yelling at Your Kids
[4] ^ Motherly: It’s science: Giving experiences instead of toys boosts your kid’s intelligence + happiness
[5] ^ Very Well Family: The Harmful Effects of Too Much Screen Time for Kids
[2] ^ Barking Up the Wrong Tree: This Is How To Create Happy Memories That Will Last A Lifetime: 3 Secrets From Research
[3] ^ Healthline: The Long-Lasting Effects of Yelling at Your Kids
[4] ^ Motherly: It’s science: Giving experiences instead of toys boosts your kid’s intelligence + happiness
[5] ^ Very Well Family: The Harmful Effects of Too Much Screen Time for Kids
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